“Worry, why do I worry?
Why do I doubt Thee?
What do I do it for?
I’m gonna trust You, and this time I mean it
I’m gonna leave it – at Your door.”
Cindy Morgan – Worry (Hymns & Spirituals)
(written by Cindy Morgan and J Bose)
What is remarkable/tragic about the words of this brilliant song is not that women worry – that’s a given; it is that they do it incessantly and daily have to repent and promise God that they really mean it this time.
A worry epidemic in women
Why does worry seem to have such a stranglehold on the ‘fairer’ sex? Is it because we have been socialised to believe that we must be concerned about everybody and everything and if we don’t, we are not being the model mother, wife, sister, daughter etc.? We behave under the deception that we are being irresponsible if we don’t worry!
Is it because we feel that we don’t have power over our lives (not as much as men, anyway) and so by worrying, we cling to a measure of influence and control? Do we receive a good return on our time and effort? No! Worry changes nothing, or rather it doesn’t profit anything.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6:25-27)
An art form or olympic sport
Some women have crafted the practice into an art form or an olympic sport. The more visible examples have frazzled hair (from incessant twirling and pulling), dark rings under the baggy eyes (through lack of sleep), the foot that won’t stop tapping/pacing, the shifty eyes and spaced out look when you speak to them (they’re not listening to a word you are saying, by the way! They’re on to the next concern/issue/problem/major meltdown.)
But because worry is cerebral, it is mostly warfare well hidden. The majority of women are masterful at disguising what’s within until their bodies rebel in order to save themselves from imploding. When a women becomes the one I described, it’s high time she gets some help!
When I went for Christian counselling some years ago (yes, I confess to having become that woman!), my counsellor would ask every session: so what if the worst thing you are worrying about came true, then what? This question would stop me cold every time because I would realise that worry was holding me captive in a deadly limbo between truth and lies, and that if the worst happened, I would still be God’s child, taken care of by Him, and – lightbulb moment – I would ultimately survive.
What it did was rip the floor out from underneath the premise of my worry: what if? It erased the uncertainties with the certainty of God – His constancy, immutability, sovereignty and power over everything, both seen and unseen.
The consummate coward
Terror is debilitating, but at least it is grounded on fact (think gun to the head/hurricane/accident etc.). Worry, however, is the consummate coward; it is debilitating without the facts to back it up. Don’t we have enough stress as it is? Do we have to add to it by lighting the other end of the candle so that we can extinguish ourselves in double-quick time?
Worry is never satisfied either: it bleeds from one subject to another. If something is resolved or the fear squashed by the truth, then we look for other things to latch our worry hook into. That’s because worry is such a habit that it is like snatching a bone from a dog – he will just dig up another one to gnaw on. (Is it any wonder that this phrase exists: worrying a bone?)
We have to recognise worry for what it is: it may be legitimate in our eyes, but in God’s, it is plain, old sin. Every time a worrying thought comes knocking, we have to meet it at the door with God’s word, which affirms the opposite. Which word are you going to trust: God’s or yours/someone else’s/an official document/news report? I’m preaching to myself here…
Kick worry to the kerb
Worry is defined as allowing one’s mind to dwell on difficulties or troubles. Dwell is the key word here, as in move in and bring all your furniture, pay the rent and lights – permanence! (I know it is the figurative version, but humour me here!) As we all are so good at this already (socialised to be homemakers from tiny tots), why don’t we just do the same thing, but change our address? Let’s evict worry as it never pays the rent, and instead meditate, dwell in God’s word. Get some faith scriptures and stick them all over where our eyes will be arrested and our hearts convicted.
“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Check out the song on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCVLh4ASo6Q
Award-winning Christian singer-songwriter Cindy Morgan, whose song I referenced, commented on this post on Facebook – such an honour!
“Hi Gaylene,
I just read your blog. First, I am honored that you used the song Worry. I am so with you. Love your writing and your perspective on all of this. It’s like you were reading my mail. I will look forward to seeing what your readers have to say about their worries. It is such a drain on our good life and our good energy. Lord, help us to lay that down. Thank you for reaching out, Gaylene. 🙂
Cindy”
What have been your experiences, or can you add to the topic?
Shimmerbutterfly blog 